Harm you

I've never been hurt this bad
this let down and this low
I've never felt such pain
and thought things so immoral
i feel like a criminal
because of what I'm thinking
I can almost imagine killing
shooting you without even blinking
how cruel of me
how cruel of you
for making me this way
for hurting me mercilessly
and breaking me down

Is my fate decided?
Will I always be a shadow
of the girl I used to be?
Will my smile ever return?
Is the fire as hot as the burn?

Its wicked how you go about
hurting the very people
who care for you the most
taking good girls and
turning them to ghosts

I never wanted to be this way
to hurt this way to feel this way
what a pleasure it must be
to know that you hold the power
to numb me
then make me feel whatever
you'd like
and heal me just to hurt me
and build me just to break me

I was the perfect victim
so vulnerable , so naive
ready to believe you
unconsciously I was just right
the perfect girl to wrong
the lovesick type,
so willing to be loved
so eager to belong

They told me, warned me
tried to make me see
to see the person who you are
the person you were making
me
but I was stubborn
I ignored the signs
I was defending a boy
a boy I thought was mine

My guard was always down
because I trusted you
I trusted you with
everything
everything that once made me
me
then you did it
as I watched defencelessly
tears flowed out of my eyes
right then and there
you bent it
crushed it,
broke it
tore it apart
right in front of me
you broke my fragile
heart

And though you did this
to me
I still love you
I can never have you
though I'll always want you
I can never harm you
though I'll always want to